Saturday, January 24, 2009

Please Send Money


Dear Fellow Constituent:

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages
and accepting donations.

The Library will include:

1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
7. The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
8. The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
9. The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
10. The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make
you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
11. The Dick Cheney Room, in an undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.
12. The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
13. The Supreme Court Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
14. The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite
Republican Senators.
15. The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija
board, dice, coins, and straws.

Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate
and view the President's accomplishments.

The library will also include many famous Quotes by George W.Bush:

1. 'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
2. 'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
3. 'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother
and child.'
4. 'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription
drugs and medicine.'
5. 'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change.'
6. 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and
that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
7. 'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.'
8. 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments
in the future.'
9. 'The future will be better tomorrow.'
10. 'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world..'
11. 'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some
fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op)
12. 'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not
having it.'
13. 'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'
14. 'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
15. 'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'...George W.Bush
to Sam Donaldson

PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!

Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors

3 comments:

Chaz said...

I guess there will not be a Mark Rich wing or Monica Lewinsky room as in the Clinton library. Still very funny.

Cohort12Fellow said...

This was HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh! :)

Anonymous said...

Mocking a former president is a bit unseemly. And beneath you. Civility is a vanishing virtue. Let it go.
Love the blog and read it daily!