Honk Honk

After hearing about how we should be like geese, I decided to do some research and see for myself what was involved in being a goose.

The first thing I came across was the old French proverb:

It is a stupid goose that listens to a fox preach.

Are teachers stupid for listening to administrators preach?

Then I read that Canadian geese drop two to four pounds of excrement a day and create major health problems. They are also extremely noisy.

I also found a bunch of goose meanings here. I decided to just copy a few.

A stupid and inane woman is called "un'oca" (a goose) in Italian as well.

Geese are also "stupid" in idiomatic expressions of German: "dumme Gans - stupid goose": the meaning is "silly/stupid woman". This seems to go back to classical fables - or at least German Wiki lists geese as (supposedly) stupid acording to fables tradition, without reference to a particular fable.

Proverbial behaviour tends to be given to familiar creatures, and geese will have been extremely common and familiar from early times. So this makes them a target for having some sort of attribute assigned to them, and they may not need to be outstandingly stupid for this quality to be associated with them. It's possible that it is simply to do with how they look, move (they are somewhat ungainly on the ground) and some of their behaviours that make them seem comic or ridiculous, rather than unintelligent per se. (They may be fairly intelligent as domesticated birds go, but that's not really saying a great deal.) In English, words like "giddy" and "silly" often accompany proverbial mentions of geese, and perhaps stupidity as such is a perhaps unfair extension of this.In Pulleyn's Etymological Compendium (early 19th c.) the writer (unlike Johnson) finds it self-evident that geese are stupid. He says he only includes them to give examples showing they are not always stupid, which seems self-defeating as an entry in an etymology, but there you go.

Also in Swedish, geese are stupid. I haven't found any particular fables, either, depicting geese as stupid, but it seems to be an widespread European It does exist in Hungarian: hülye liba (stupid goose) idea.

(I guess I am not a big fan of metaphors)

I Finally Lucked Out

I caught a break! I teach every period today's faculty conference was being given.

Stupid Teachers

I hate to say anything negative about my colleagues but some of them are the epitome of stupid.

We had a faculty conference today. The administration was great. (I'm waiting for the lightning to strike me for writing that.) They said what they had to say and were ready to let us leave early. You would think veteran teachers would appreciate this and keep their mouths shut. But, this did not happen? NO!!!!!!!

The APO was talking about protocol for regents exams. She pointed out the problems with cell phones in the past and told everyone proctoring to collect phones at the start of the exam. She said she would provide rubber bands to attach phones to ID cards so the phones would be easy to achieve at the end of the exam.

Sounds simple, right? Sounds uncomplicated? If I was not in the room I would not have believed the comments I heard. "What if a kid forgets?" "What if you hear a phone go off?" "What if the sky is falling?"

We finally have a principal that respects the staff and respects our time but we still work with a bunch of morons that cannot possibly think for themselves or get through a forty minute meeting without hearing their own voices.

I need a drink.

Profitable Faculty Conference

After school faculty conferences suck big time. After a full day of teaching I don't care what the topic is. I'm tired. I want to go home. Nothing being said can hold my interest.

Last month's conference was different. I sat with my friend who was filling out raffle tickets for an organization she belongs to. I wanted to help her out so I took out $5 and bought five tickets. I figured I wouldn't miss the money and was making a contribution to a worthy organization. Imagine my surprise when a $50 check, my prize, came in the mail. I did the only thing I could do with it, took my friend out for beers and dinner.

Wouldn't it be great if every faculty conference could be this profitable?

Surprise, Surprise

Schoolgal didn't think I could keep coming up with things to write about. I surprised her yesterday and hope to do so again today.

In our very overcrowded school, AP exams are being given in the gym. The English exam ESL students are taking is being given in the trailers and a faculty conference is scheduled for the auditorium. Principal Suit has his panties in a knot trying to figure out what he will do with all the trailer classes who cannot meet in their trailers and are assigned to the auditorium. These classes will interfere with his toxic workshop.

Meanwhile, Mr. M is upset because his trailer class is being sent to the auditorium again, the second time this week. He needs the class time to make sure he finishes teaching the curriculum before the end of the term. The first time his class met in the auditorium, Mr. M asked for a room and he was told there were no rooms available. Yesterday he did not even bother to ask for one. Low and behold, the phone rings in the math office telling Mr. M. that a room was going to be available for his use after all.

No one cared about the lost teaching time. Everyone cared about the toxic meeting. Something is very poisonous in my school.

Today's Treat

Today was a treat. After a full day of teaching we got treated to a faculty conference. Many teachers in my school get to go to a conference during a lunch or prep period. I'm lucky. I get to go after school as I teach during all the earlier periods when the conference is given.

Today's conference was special. Mr. AP sent an e-mail to the entire department telling us to be on time for the meeting. I wore my roller blades so I could get to the auditorium from the trailer in record time. In spite of this, I was still late. When I walked in Principal Suit was talking about "toxic grading", whatever that is. It was hard to hear him. I forgot to take my i-pod ear plugs out. We got to watch a video of some British dude talking about this toxic stuff too. (Suit forgot to serve the popcorn.) He was also hard to understand, even with the earplugs out.

Actually, I did get the gist of what he was talking about. Basically, kids who do not complete assignments should not fail. They should be given a second, third, fourth,....millionth chance to complete that assignment. They should be allowed to write and rewrite and rewrite again and again until the paper is perfect. They should be allowed to take that test over and over and over until a good grade is gotten. Teachers are getting treated to lots of extra work and students are being treated to working whenever the urge hits them.

Principal Suit tried to engage the teachers in a dialog about the video. He was nice to people who agreed and quite rude to others who didn't. For once I was smart enough to sit back and keep my mouth shut, almost shut. I did enjoy talking to a friend who was also at the conference.

The bell rang at 3:32. Suit was still pontificating. My friend and I got up and left. Suit glared at us but our day was over. This was one treat that was not going to spoil anyone.

I'm definitely taking off Brooklyn Queens Day. I can't bear a whole day of listening to him.

I Love Lucy

My poor sick colleague missed an exciting faculty conference on Monday. I know he is considering coming back to work early, so I thought I should fill him in on all he missed.

The conference began with a short scene from an old I Love Lucy show. Lucy and Ethel were working on the assembly line of a candy factory. Their job was to wrap candy as it came by them. One missed candy and they would be fired. At first the candy came slow. They were able to do the job successfully. The candy started coming faster and faster and they could not keep up. They started eating the candy and storing it in all sorts of weird places to keep their jobs.

Principal Suit asked us why we were seeing this. My good friend R raised his hand to answer. Since R never speaks at any of these things Suit recognized him immediately. R said, with a straight face, "because the kids are selling candy." Suit didn't know what to say to this, didn't recognize the sarcasm, and brushed over this response and called on someone else. Suit finally said the point of all of this was to learn how to prioritize and how to manage all the extra work we are now expected to do.

The sad part of all this is that our working conditions are as ridiculous as the ones portrayed on an old situation comedy, only our working conditions are not comedic, they are sad. They are true. Our problems can't be solved by shoving a piece of candy under our hats or in our mouths. Our products are human beings that require real care, not cover ups. He wanted us to do all that was being sent to us to do, to do anything necessary to get the job done. He wanted us to come up with new ideas to get things done and to share these ideas with others. Me, I just want to get the hell out.

We also discussed the newest cohort that is going to get special watching--African American males in ninth and tenth grade, in the lowest one-third of the city. Finally he is acknowledging what many of us have been saying for years. In a predominately white/Asian middle class school, these kids get lost, they fall through the cracks. But, now that he is being judged by the success of this group, he wants to help them. He still won't give them small classes but he did set up an Inquiry team to "watch them", kind of like what we did with I Love Lucy.

The last part of the meeting, probably the most important part involved the chancellor's regulation on reporting child abuse. It is now the teacher's responsibility to report it. Although teachers are promised confidentiality, we are not anonymous and many of us fear reactions from crazy parents. From what we heard, nothing will be done to protect us. In the past, guidance had been permitted to make these reports.

When the bell finally rang, we all ran out of the auditorium as quick as we could. Nothing like having to stay late during the last week before vacation. And, he wonders why no one wants to go to the holiday party.

I Need A Drink

My colleague on a health sabbatical missed an exciting faculty meeting today. I'll just have to right about it to keep him posted.

My huge school is on a 12 period day and because of the different time schedules of so many teachers, Suit is forced to hold conferences multiple periods. Some teachers luck out and get to go to a conference during a lunch or a prep so they don't have to stay extra. I'm not that lucky. I'm stuck staying the extra period at the end of the day. Of course, listening to Suit and then going to teach is no bargain either. He would not stop talking during the period four meeting and refused to let teachers leave at the end of the period. The teacher who comes into the room after me was really late to class. She has a difficult class and is always after them to be on time. Coming late herself set a bad example. When she finally arrived, she was really upset. The kids gave her a hard time about being late too. She told him "Principal Suit was holding a meeting and he would not let us leave." The same thing happened at a meeting I was at a few years ago. The only difference was that I got up five minutes before the end of the meeting and walked out. When Suit complained I told him "I have a class in the trailer. I'm not going to be late." He didn't like my answer but he knows that I am made of Teflon and he can do nothing to me. Others are not in that position and must take his abuse.

The meeting I went to began with a lecture about using the new call sub station and EGS (electronic grading system). We were told that computers would be available in the school but we would be much better off working at home in our pajamas. I vote for not working in school in my pajamas. We then listened to the AP of security. This guy looks just like Terence of South Park (big mouth, nothing intelligent ever coming out of it). He was telling us how effective the school was going to be in dealing with lateness. He plans on having his C-6 hall patrol people doing sweeps. Too bad my colleague isn't in school this semester. If he had a hall patrol, I know how much he would love the sweeps. I don't think anyone in the room thought this plan would work. But Terence sure had a good time standing in front and talking. Next to speak was Suit himself. First he talked about our Quality Review and patted himself and the staff on the back. The stupid teachers actually applauded. He talked about differentiated instruction. He wants us to talk to every student individually. He wants us to speak to special education teachers and ELL teachers to find books that are easier for some students to use. All this with 5 classes and a C-6 assignment. I think the guy is on drugs. He then talked about the biggest problem in our school--Black males not getting advanced and honor diplomas. He's finally woken up. I've said for years that this group is not being cared for. I've said for years that this group faces major discrimination. No one listened. Now that the school is faced with the group bringing down the stats, he wants to address the problem. He said a bunch of racist stuff, stuff he claimed was based on facts. After teaching six classes and a C-6 assignment, I didn't have the energy to challenge him. I just watched the clock and made sure to leave when the period was up. I did take a cell phone call in the middle of the meeting. I hope it got on him nerves. As people were leaving he mentioned our next PD would be in January. I definitely feel a severe headache coming on.

Welcome Back!

The first day of school. They were ready for us! The bathrooms were not all open and the ones that were open did not have toilet paper or paper towels and the floors were disgustingly dirty. Nice way to be welcomed back.

Principal Suit flew into the meeting and stuck his thumb out at the people sitting in the last row and yelled "move up." We all thought that was an especially nice greeting. He then began his address to us with the words "Welcome home." We all have places we call home, this school is not one of them. After shushing us, he told us he had a good day planned for us and we were going to continue the fun we have here, singing and laughing, just like camp. He told a bad joke and then showed some Civil War movie that I think was supposed to pertain to leadership, but I am not sure (the auditorium was so hot that I walked outside for most of it.) After what seemed like a 24 hour period, we continued in the student cafeteria which, is air conditioned. We sat in groups and talked about resilience. We heard how he was resilient and became principal--lucky us. The only thing I learned is that one of the teachers I like has a really cute lower back tattoo.

My friend and I sat with some of the young teachers, and told them to pay attention, since they did not have tenure yet. One of them came up with this:

You can be mediocre and not get fired because there are not enough teachers around to replace us.

Being a math teacher, she is 100% correct. What a sad commentary. What a sad fact that someone so young has picked up on this already.

The highlight of the day was lunch at Subway, since it is one of the only places within walking distance. At least we all got to sit around and BS in peace and in quality air conditioning.

After lunch we looked at some paper explaining some guidance stuff. The kid's guidance counselors are coded in their homerooms. Some counselors use first name initials, some use last name initials and one uses a final letter of her last name. Nice system. Easy to remember.

The afternoon ended with departmental meetings. My AP rambled on as usual. He made his usual derogatory comments about a colleague that retired in January (a good teacher who he just did not like.) He contradicted everything he told us to do last year. Before handing out programs, he said:

It is not my job to program to the UFT contract. I program for what is best for the school.

My program is fine. I wish people whose program is not would grieve, but most are too timid. That is why he gets away with this stuff. He finally handed out programs but did not go over what the course codes mean. I am not 100% sure of the courses I am teaching. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

This post is dedicated to a good teacher in my school who is currently out sick. He is recovering from the treatment he received for a cancer on his tonsils. I know he feels terrible about missing this exciting day. Hopefully he can experience some of the pleasure he missed through this post.

Improve Now! I Need Money!

Thursday's staff development included about an hours worth of time looking at our schools' report card in relationship to our peer schools. Suit first tried to stress how improvement meant more money. He quickly caught himself before the teachers could call him on the fact that more money meant big performance bonuses for him and the other ap's but nothing for us. He tried to emphasize that more money would be coming into the school. He quickly said that more money could not reduce class size since we had no place in the building to put additional classes. I wanted to ask him if any of the money would be used to repair the trailers (fetid puddles, leaking roofs, improperly functioning bathrooms,...) but I held my tongue. I already opened my mouth earlier and got the look of death from him. Was he going to provide more security? Was he going to find spots where teachers can actually work during the day? Was he going to do anything that would directly help a teacher and encourage us to improve the report card? And he talked quickly, so no one could question how the money would be spent. Most teachers work hard. They do their best every day to help their students. This new rating system means nothing to us and I resent this extra burden being put on us daily.

Sore Loser

Now that school is open for teachers on Brooklyn Queens Day, teachers in a big school like mine have an opportunity to meet together, to come together as a faculty, to discuss problems, find solutions and praise each others accomplishments.

What HOGWASH!!!!! We spent the morning listening to Principal Suit's B.S. He really didn't have that much to say so we got to watch part of the school's production of Footloose (the terrible acoustics in the auditorium makes it impossible to understand any words sung) and listen to the honor orchestra, lead by the award winning music teacher (excellent performance). We got to hear about his being the number one music teacher in the city. Principal Suit then went on to praise the head of the JROTC for being the number one teacher for them. He praised an English teacher who also won a nice award. After, he continued with more B.S. and then remembered he forgot to praise a science teacher who is the science teacher of the year. He then handed out some stupid article about equity in the school system. Of course, exceptional teachers could fix any problem. When I finally opened my mouth to complain about teachers being always dumped on he added, "Oh yes, #$& was the PTA Heart Winner this year."

No matter what he said when I got the award, I know he didn't want me to have it. I guess he felt good, ignoring it at the meeting. It only made him look bad. The people that count knew about it and others were finding out about it as the day progressed. Poor Principal Suit, what a sore loser!

Sleeping With the Enemy

My mom has agreed to the surgery. She is going to have it on Monday. Tonight I left her for the first time in 9 days feeling like she might have a chance. My dad has temporarily stopped crying Let me try one of my bitch posts again in an attempt to get back to normal..

The new thing in our school is study groups to take the place of faculty conferences. Everyone signed up for a group they are supposedly interested in. Here is where the problems come in.

1. Most people are not really interested in any of these groups. We had to sign up for something, so we did.

2. Because the school is so large, and we are on so many different sessions, it was impossible to meet with the group many teachers signed up for. We were told to just go to any other group that fit into our schedule--real meaningful!

3. Some teachers were assigned "homework" from their groups. Contractually, we have to attend these meetings. We don't have to do any outside work for them.

In discussing these things with other teachers, we all wonder how our Chapter Chair did not object to this obvious contract violation. This only confirms our opinions that the Chapter Chair and the principal are "sleeping together"