I would just like to thank everyone for all their support during this past month. I know I have been using this blog for purely selfish reasons, but I am not an open person. I like to keep my feelings to myself. Talking things out to an audience, yet remaining anonymous (except to a very few) has been very therapeutic for me. All of your comments have helped make it possible for me to endure. I know my husband, supportive though he is, does not like to see me cry. He lost both of his parents a few years ago and sees no need to keep dwelling on painful topics. I don't like to trouble my friends either, they all have their own burdens to carry.
Work has been wonderful. Again, the kids are so supportive. One of my troubled little girls told me she is going to pass the regents for my mom. They are still all hugging me when they see me and checking to see that I am okay. Every day gets easier, although it will never go back to the way it was. Last night, for the first time I didn't cry. But, then I felt guilty for not crying. Seems I can't win. Today, proctoring the AP psychology exam, I walked out as I felt tears starting to flow. I think keeping busy is the answer. I have to remember the good things. Whenever I cried to my mom about someone dying she always said, "That's life. We live and we die." I try to remind myself of this when I start to feel sad and sometimes it helps.
Now, let me go figure out what I am teaching tomorrow. That has got to get my mind off of this stuff.
3 comments:
Yes, planning your lessons will get your mind off your mom for a while. But she'll sneak back in at the most inopportune moments--like when you're proctoring an exam--and you'll find yourself awash in tears again. Have a good cry. It's nature's way of washing the toxins of grief out of your body. You've started the healing journey. Be blessed.
What do you do with the calc class after the exam?
After the AP test we take a breather until every AP exam in every subject is done. Then we go over topics that kids will need for college, but are not on AP exam. Integration by parts is not on the AB exam so that is the first topic I will teach. We then continue with other forms of integration. No more stress in class. No more homework and no more tests. The kids earned the rest and so did I.
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