Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The Day After

I thought my dad was doing better. He seems to be coping, crying but a little better. He called about my mom's life insurance and pension this morning. Taking care of business was a good sign. Boy, I was wrong. This morning we only had a little bit of company, which was good. My cousin showed up. We talked about old times. We used to be great friends and somehow we drifted apart. It was good to talk about old times. A friend of my sister showed up also. With only one person extra, things were also good. Then came the lull. My dad ate his favorite meal--the meatballs I made him and he napped a little. Later on a couple of people that worked with my mom showed up. This was good too. Unfortunately, two very old friends of mine also came. My friend is a teacher at a pretty prestigious high school and she was telling us a crazy story about a police visit (future post). We were laughing. My dad couldn't take it. He went into the other room and cried. It was too noisy. People were happy. "We are in mourning for your mother. I know this is what is done at shiva, but I can't take it." I told this to my friends and they left. We told everyone we could contact not to come tonight. I know this is wrong. I know I am in mourning too and I have a right to company but I can't stand watching my dad cry. We will be at my house Saturday night. I will let people who want come to see me there. My sister is going home on Friday. I have mixed feelings. She is good for my dad in some ways but in other ways she is driving him crazy. My husband and children finally see what I have been saying about her for years. They see that I am not exaggerating. She does not handle things like an intelligent adult (another post). Things are calm now. Everyone except family is gone. We are going home soon. My sister has one friend coming over. That will be good. Until tomorrow. Only time will tell what that day may bring.

My dad just said he wants people to come tomorrow. It is okay with him. If there is too much laughter, he will leave the room. Things are just too strange for me.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I haven't kept up better with blogs. You're in my prayers! *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you and your family. Will your dad be staying by himself soon? Will anyone help him grocery shop or all the other things that your mother did?

Also wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about this today..."Burial is the final favor that cannot be returned." I never heard that before and it struck a chord in me.

Pissed Off Mom said...

I am so sorry for you loss. My condolences to you and your family.
We had the same scenario with my grandfather when my father passed away,he did not want to hear anything just be left alone. Your father will heal it will take time and a lot of strength from you.