Wednesday, August 21, 2013

And So It Begins

Dear teachers:

As you know I am not happy about seeing people younger and less experienced than me becoming Principals and then moving on to bigger and better things while I am stuck in this crummy department with a bunch of old decrepit teachers I can't get rid of.  I know more than any of these Principals yet they tell me what to do and what I can't do.  This year, I will show them all who the great one in this school is, and it is me.

School starts in a few days and I expect you to be ready.  Please come in day one with a list of parents you have already spoken to in anticipation of lateness, absence and poor test scores.  This year, with new evaluations in place, I will be gunning for any of you not working 24/7.  Of course there are some of you I will be going after even if you do everything I ask.  You know who you are.  I do not like you, I never will and I will do everything in my power to make you miserable in hopes of getting you to leave.

Now, as far as programs.  You know how lucky you are to have me as a supervisor.  You know I am the best in the city so don't complain to me about your hours or your classes.  I give the best classes to the teachers who come to my parties and go on vacation with.  If you are not one of those, you got what you deserve.  And, I promise I will give you all the students who probably can't pass and have trouble coming to school, so deal with it.  While I expect every teacher to have 100% passing in every class, I am not dumb enough to believe this can really happen so I fixed the programs of my friends.  Still, you better find a way to get everyone passing or I will rate you ineffective.

Now that you know what to expect, enjoy your last few days off and come back ready to work.  I am lucky to have a wonderful department like you working with me.

Best wishes.  See you soon.

The Most Wonderful AP in the City

(This letter is fiction and not based on anything or anyone in particular.  No AP would ever write a note like this.  The picture is the lake at the Boat House in Central Park.)


burntoutteacher said...

You have no idea how much I love reading your blog!

Unknown said...

Haha your post is amusing. I like your humor. Best of luck with your new school year. I truly miss my days back in school. Hope everything will go well. Good luck with everything!

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