Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Brother-In Law Update
The days before my mom's surgery, the surgery she never woke up from, she was delirious. She hallucinated. She thought everyone was out to get her. She said mean things to everyone around. This is what my brother-in-law is doing now. He got off the ventilator on Sunday. We thought that was a good sign. The doctors said he would be disoriented for a day or two, but that should pass. It is not passing. Now they are saying he might have brain damage.
My sister was at the hospital non stop during my mom's last conscious hours. She always thought my mom would get better. I knew she wouldn't. Now, as she watches her husband going through the same thing, she has no hope. She fears he will never be well. I try to bolster her, but I am too far away. She is alone, maybe there are a few friends around, but no family.
I used to love my brother-in-law. I'm just angry with him now. He did this to himself. He smoked when he knew his health was at risk. He smoked when he spit up blood. He never had a job that provided health coverage so we don't know if what he has now could have been prevented. I hate him for what he is doing to my sister.
I saw a good friend at work go outside to light up today. I laced into him. I told him that he doesn't really love his wife or he wouldn't be risking his health this way. He wouldn't risk putting her through what my sister is going through. He said he is going to stop, but I have heard him say that too many times before to take him seriously. Smoking is an addiction and a disease. I know he can't help himself, as my brother-in-law could not help himself. I feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do to make her pain go away.