Thursday, September 18, 2014

Self Esteem

When a person is constantly put down, told they are no good, they begin to doubt themselves, even believe the things being said.  Intellectually, you know the things being said about you are not true, but after hearing them so often you start to believe.

That is what happened to me and lots of others when we taught, and are still teaching high school.  One teacher was yelled at when her students broke a window shade when she was absent.  The AP claimed if she trained them better, it would not have happened.  Another teacher was blamed when a student threw a water bottle out the window.  Still another was blamed for unruliness of his students but the head of security told him every student had a file 5 inches thick and he called deans less often than anyone else.  Newbies could got everyone to pass while veteran teachers did not.  Our methods were just not good enough and we even began doubting our skills teaching.

I think this is one of the reasons I am having trouble giving up teaching at the college.  Here I am respected and cherished for what I do in the classroom.  The students are learning and happy.  Even the ones who don't pass don't blame me.  The administration thanks me for coming in.  I am asked to cover classes because I am a "strong" teacher who knows the material and knows how to get it across.

The college, like the high school, is a city institution that has no control over the money I am paid. While they can't reward me financially, they reward me and other with kind words and words of appreciation.  These words make me want to do more for my students and for all the students in the school.

It is too bad today's schools won't do the same.  The kids wold benefit so much.  But I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  The almighty dollar sign is what rules schools today.  The dollar sign is what put so many incompetent administrators in place, incompetent administrators who get rid of good teachers.

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