Monday, March 03, 2008


Sometimes we know we should do something, but put off doing it for various reasons. By the time we get to do them, it is too late.

My boyfriend
just died. I knew he was sick when I did not see him in temple for the daily minyon and for services last Shabbos. I asked about him. At first, no one knew where he was. They thought he was just staying away because he did not like a comment someone made to him. Then we found out that he fell and was in the hospital. He was not a very nice man, most people in the temple really did not care much for him. No one went to visit. I planned on going to see him, but between work and visiting my dad, I never had time. Tomorrow afternoon was going to be my visit. Today the phone call came that said he passed away. I am not going to get to make my visit.

Sol was one of the first people I became friendly with when I started attending the daily minyon.He was a lonely old man and I was just sad. It was nice to see a friendly face while saying Kaddish. Besides, he flirted with me non stop. It felt good to be told how young and beautiful I was, even if the man telling me that was 95 years old.

Sol liked me to sit with him. At first I resisted because I like to hide in the back. I'm glad I gave in. He told me that the thirty minutes we spent together were the highlight of his day. Jack thought he was an expert on everything. He knew more than the Rabbi and knew more about life than anyone. I just smiled and agreed with him. He was arrogant, but harmless.

I really never got to know the man. Intellectually I know that I did not do anything wrong by not going to see him. He never would have expected me to. I hope I brought a little bit of joy into his life. I feel I could have made his last days happier by paying a visit to his hospital room.

Maybe others won't miss him. Maybe he wasn't the easiest man in the world to get along with. But, I will always remember him, sitting in the second row, loudly saying his prayers, wrong pronunciations and all. Sol, I will miss you.


Anonymous said...

I send my condolences and well wishes. He obviously meant a lot to you ...

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for your loss. And, it pains my soul that even within the context of a religious community, Sol couldn't get much love. I am glad he had you.

Mrs. T said...

I'm sure that as you were the highlight of his day, he brought sunshine to yours as well.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to read about this loss. I hope the knowledge that during his lifetime you meant a lot to him, and that you were the sunshine the brightened his days, will help you find a place for this loss.