Monday, November 29, 2010

Anonymous Blogger

I was asked to post this for a friend who was afraid to post on her own blog. I know how she feels.  I have people all over the Internet posting for me.

Here goes:
How would you feel if you could anonymously blog this post for me?

I had this up on mine but edited it to add more details. With the extra details, I would rather post anonymously for the time being.

I chose the colors on purpose to show my anger and non anger.

I was angry that.....
the administration sent a paraprofessional (non educator) who does not even have a college background into my classroom to re-arrange in a way that did not make sense, for classroom purposes. (however, I learned how to channel this anger in a more appropriate way because I made a bad judgment call because of it).
the administration wrote me up for being accused of having 5 children work on 1 'suitable puzzle' to show that I am incompetent. Well that 1 suitable puzzle was an enormous floor puzzle where the children can work collaboratively. When things are written on paper, is not necessarily how its depicted in real life.

the paraprofessional got away with snitching and reporting on me to the principal and nothing happens to her for this unprofessional behavior. I was warned by 3 staff members that she is a snitch, and she gets away with this inappropriate behavior.

the teacher I worked with on grade level can get away with sitting on her ass at the computer all day, not interact with the children and not do all work. I was also angry that teachers like this are the reason why Ed Deformers also go after hard working, competent and qualified teachers who do not deserve to lose their job. I was also angry that she still has her job because she takes advantage of 'racial factors' and the 'tenure system'.

that I get yelled at for teaching air writing to pre-kindergarten children because its not a developmentally appropriate practice on a literacy observation lesson. Research shows that air/sky writing is extremely appropriate for the lower grades. (Reason for subjectivity on observation lessons).

the city exploited my medical condition to cover their asses and I got the bulk of it by being harassed by the administration for 2 extra months.

the city doe officials think its okay for me to sit in a library doing absolutely nothing for 2 1/2 months and be subjected to harassment and abuse by the administration. I felt like a Prisoner of War with the Gestapo after me.

my mentor can say wonderful things about me for a whole year and then when she finds out that I am the new scapegoat and need to leave the school, she acts like I was total bad teacher and pretends that she never said anything wonderful about me. I STILL WANT TO SMACK THIS PERSON IN THE HEAD FOR BEING A CREEP AND A COWARD!!!!!

that administrators can make it their business to go after teachers and push them out when its the fault of the lousy administration which is why the school is falling apart.

that my mother gets written up by her principal for taking some days to visit my dying grandfather in Florida. The principal used my mother's absences as an example, "Oh I need to find a problem in my school to show that I am doing my job. I need to go looking for a problem. This is a good thing to write a teacher up on." I was also angry when my grandpa did pass away, the principal left a message to see how the family was doing. Talk about hypocrisy right there.

I lost my grandfather due to cancer and I was not able to see him before he passed on.

its hard for me to find a job because of the screwed up economy, not necessarily because I was canned..although....

I was angry that I could not get this pre-kindergarten job in Morning Side Heights because of my past in P.S Ahem. Morning Side Heights Principal could not hire me because she excessed 3 elementary teachers. HR rep couldn't defend a position on bringing back a terminated teacher. Morning Side Heights Principal also saw my entire paper work that PS Ahem principal wrote on me and disagreed with her findings but I still could not get the job. She was close to giving it to me too. The interview went well, she called my references and asked for my file number to make the transfer. I guess that was not the right place for me either...who knows?

the union tries to make it their business to help and teachers pay their dues but the union still comes out powerless.

that I was given no direct and clear guidance from the administration and I was led to believe that everything was all right until June, 2009. If she didn't like my teaching style, then why didn't she do something then? Why did she wait until the 7th day of school and try to run me out of the building?

that the reading teacher lost her position due to budget cuts and took over my old class once I got canned. She did not deserve to lose her position in the middle of the year. If there was any indication that her position was in jeopardy, it would have been in her best interest to know that the year before as well.

that I got yelled at for going to the administration on an individualized behavior modification system for 4 students who had severe social and emotional needs. All the AP said to me was, "That is great, and then when it doesn't work out in 2 weeks, you can go to plan B." (What kind of support is that from an administration?)

that I asked the principal if 2 students in my class can use and squish play dough with their hands while they learn and sit on the rug. This was to help students who have sensory and tactile issues focus in class. Principal screamed and said, "Won't the other kids get jealous if they see those 2 playing with play dough?". What I wanted to say, was "I am sure the other children will be relieved that these 2 children will stop bothering them on the carpet."

that a K-5 Literacy Staff Developer came into my classroom during the second week of school to help find things to write me up on, when she specifically has no background in early childhood education. Not only does she have no background, but she was interfering with the routines and behavior management of the class during the second week of school.

Well, these are a lot of things that I have been angry about all year. All of these things that occurred are completely true, although I wish it never happened. I also dislike when people say, "Oh get over it. You are not there anymore, you do not have to deal with this stuff.". Its easier said than done. This was a lot of horrendous trauma that occurred for 1 year.

Here is how I got over my anger:
1. Time- A lot of time had to pass in order for the anger to subside. This was the key to feeling better.

2. Counseling- Since I do have a medical condition and had to be evaluated, I continued seeing my psychologist to get over the fear, stress and trauma of what happened to me, amongst other things.

3. Hobbies and Interests- In August, I found a passion and interest in photography. Now, I go on photograph excursions in order to let loose and have a lot of fun. I also found an interest in blogging and keep up to date with all of my blogs that I follow. Through blogging, I learned that I am definitely not alone.

4. Punching Bag at the gym- Over the summer, I had a lot of aggression and pretended the punching bag was the former principal. She was quite the witch, and I am being nice with that description.

5. Support from Loved Ones- If it wasn't for the support of my family and 'true' friends who really understood the plight I went through, I couldn't have gone through this ordeal on my own. I will always be eternally grateful to those special people in my life. I will never forget what they have done to help me through this.

1 comment:

EFM said...

It is a shame you had to suffer so much anonymous blogger. You have been a victim of the paranoia that has grown out of the confused and frantic, so called, reform movement in education. The constant threat of schools being closed and countless people losing their jobs, has made those who would under normal circumstances, be working together and supporting one another, turn against each other.
Take heart, there has to be an end to this madness somewhere on the horizon. The key to making it through is to never lose faith in yourself.