Tuesday, January 31, 2012

In My Blood

I have been enjoying my time off and thinking that maybe it is time to put down my chalk.  While not dreading going back, I wasn't exactly looking forward to my first class and waited until the last minute to open the book and see what I had to teach. 

I got out of my car and felt nothing except for a slight irritation at the woman who took the parking spot I wanted.  I walked into the office, said hello to the secretaries, made my copies and walked to class, still wondering why I was there instead of home.  And then, I saw the students waiting to go into class and something went off inside me.  I felt my apathy slowly change into enthusiasm.  When I put my books down and started talking everything changed.  It all came back.   I was where I belonged.

I didn't care that I was standing in front of remedial students instead of the pre-calculus students I had been promised.  I saw kids that wanted to learn.  I saw kids in need of help and I was ready and willing to give it.  I told them not to be ashamed of where they started.  There was nothing wrong with needing a little reinforcement.  After all, high school taught them nothing and they all agreed. 

I'm not going to get them all to succeed but I know I will get many to move ahead.  I am now looking forward to my next class.


Schoolgal said...

It's apples and oranges. Here you can actually do what you think is best. You are in charge of your class. Retirement has given you the best of both worlds. And, you will know if and when you want to stay home and not do this anymore. That feeling is a very strong one. One you either denied or didn't really feel those last few years at Packemin. But I know many teachers who still have many years before retirement that are feeling it now, and it's sad. All they need is to feel supported and respected and not have to do mounds and mounds of extra paperwork that's geared to testing.
And strangely enough, there are admins who actually follow through on this, but they are not the majority.

Morale is everything in this profession.

Anonymous said...

This is exactly how I feel when I walk into a classroom work individually with children for tutoring...

burntoutteacher said...

Oh I so so so miss that feeling!

Pissedoffteacher said...

Try applying to community colleges or evenpriate colleges near where you live. These places know how to treat teachers.