My phone rang at 6:30 this morning. It was my dad. He told me that mom's heart rate was bad and they were moving her to a critical care floor. After what I saw last night, I got hysterical. I decided to go to work anyways but did a lot of crying in between classes. I ended up leaving early so I could be with my family.
I got to the hospital and found mom sitting in bed, talking, still slurring but awake and she knew what she was talking about. The antibiotics seem to be working and the infection is clearing. Her heart rate is back to normal, at least normal for her. Her breathing is a lot better too. We are not out of the woods. We found out she needs to have the blood clot on her brain removed. Not a serious operation for a healthy person, but who knows if it will be for her. The doctor said that there is a 15% - 20% chance that the surgery won't work and she will need it again. The math teacher in me doesn't like that percentage. We are out of a 95% confidence interval, which is not good. My mom has been insisting that she does not want an operation. My dad was freaking out about telling her. My husband and I made him and my idiot sister leave so we could explain it to her. She got it. She said if she needed it, she needed it. If it would make her better, she would do it. She told me to explain it to my dad, he is so afraid of losing her.
My parents are great. Maybe I am reacting like this for no reason. Maybe she will end up coming through.
The rantings of a teacher who retired from the classroom but not from education.
4 comments:
I really hate to hear this. All this in-and-out-of-hospitals while constantly suffering is awful for everyone.
I hope your school is supportive when it comes to taking leave for family emergencies.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. As teachers, we are so used to being in control, that when situtations like this arise, the feeling of helplessness is even more profound, I think. All you can do now is try your best to think rationally, and try to remain calm and focused. I went through it for 11 years, when my father was in a nursing home after a stroke. You CAN do it- and we're all pulling for your mom AND you.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but just wanted to let you know you and your family are in my thoughts.
Again I wish there was something I could do...you, your mom, and your family continue to be in my thoughts. I found the routine of school a comfort, at least I basically knew what to expect and had some control over it. The deterioration I saw in my dad was something so upsetting because it wasn't within what I could control in my life or his.
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