I just got this e-mail from an ATR I have gotten to know through the blogosphere. Beware before you read, it is very heavy and quite depressing.
I only made it to one interview. The other two I couldn't get to because I had to be at school. I don't have any other interviews coming in. The one job where the principal liked me didn't work out because he had already committed to someone before he met me and it looks like he needs ESL not ELA and he can't handle both an ELA and ESL. I said I would teach ESL, but he will be out of compliance. He's looking into it, but it's not promising. I said I would commit to him for next year if he would commit to me, but he didn't bite.
I have no future.
Suppose I give Joey and Mitchell to my friend Marie and I shoot myself in the stairwell at XX High. My suicide note says something like, "ATR with no future, clocking out." I explain the one "U" rating. People will say kind things about me and all the kids will say how they liked me. It looks like the Eng Regents scores for the kids I tutored are good. Colleagues will say how nice I was. The principal at XX will say I was good with the kids. My old AP at YY High School will say nice things. Even if that bitch of a principal at ZZ HS says I was "troubled" that will be one bad thing in the middle of a story which says that this ATR business is killing off fairly young, talented teachers who were making a difference.
Please tell me why my life is worth more than my death?
Don't tell anyone I asked you this. It's purely theoretical. It's just I can't see, logically, why it doesn't make more sense to take a bullet for the cause and possibly change the situation.
And I just wondered if I did kill myself, so long as the dog's were safe, would it be useful. Would it change the tenor of the news?
But selfishly I love being with the dogs too much right now.
I don't know this person, other than from what she writes on line and from a few e-mails. I pray she will be all right. I asked her permission before I shared this letter. It is something everyone needs to read and I know this blog is much more popular than hers. I am sure any offers of support or a job will be appreciated.