Last night I sat with a new parent (teacher on child care leave) and an expectant father (both parents to be are teachers). We discussed staying at home to be a full time mom. I say, if you can afford it, and want to stay at home you should do it. Children are little for such a short time you've got to enjoy them while you can. Of course full time motherhood is not for everyone and no one should be guilted into doing it and not everyone can afford to stay home. Teaching is a good job for mothers (or fathers). In NYC you can take up to four years off and then come back and pick up exactly where you left off. How great is that!
The teacher I was talking to has a seven month old son. She is totally in love with him and in being around him. She is torn about coming back to work. Everyone in school is pushing for her to return. She was relieved to hear me say "follow your heart." There is no right or wrong answer. She is considering taking a longer leave. The expectant dad told me he's glad I don't know his wife. He fully expects her to return to work immediately after the baby is born even though they can easily live without her income for a few years. How sad. He is going to deprive his new son and his wife the bonding they both want and need.
My old AP believed women should return to work immediately after giving birth. She always bragged about being back on the job two weeks after her sons were born. She berated and harassed me when I told her I was not coming back after my daughter was born. She tried to make my life miserable and the only way I could handle her was to hang up on her when she called. (She got the hint and stopped calling.) She once told me that she never sat down and played a game with her kids. I always felt sorry for all of them.
Teaching is an important job but so is parenting. It is possible to do both but if you want to only parent for a while, then that is what you should do. No one has the right to tell you to do otherwise.
2 comments:
You probably don't want to hear this, but you would make an excellent administrator: wise, compassionate, and tough. Teachers would feel privileged to work under your leadership. Too bad you're not looking for an administrative position, although I understand that your heart is in the classroom.
Thank you but I would make a terrible administrator. I don't like confrontation. I don't like lazy people and I don't like stupid people. I'm also not good at delegating. Right now, I am just thinking about retirement. I can actually make more money not working but I am not ready to leave yet.
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