Thursday, October 11, 2012

Reading Between The Lines


Instead of the usual posting of the memo, I decided to post my own interpretation.  Hopefully the grammar and spelling are better.  If the message is slightly incoherent, remeber, it is an interpretation of something that often makes no sense.

To all you lazy, stupid math teachers:

I can't stand the sight of many of you.  You are just too stupid to do what I tell you to do.  I specifically told you to see me with your grades, and to know all your exam averages and student  averages.  Most of you did not show up.  It is my right as an assistant principal to bully and berate you and to make you want to crawl in a hole and die.  In fact, I live for the moments when I corner you in my office and put you down.  I know most of you can't understand a word I say, I can't understand them either, but that doesn't matter.  You are nothing and I am everything.  I constantly tell you that I am the best AP in the city and how lucky you are to be working for me, but this message does not sink into your thick brains.

Now, lets get on to tutoring.  I told you to tell your students where to find help, but they still come and ask me.  If they can't find the tutoring sessions you should  make it your business to personally escort them to these sessions.  If teenagers don't know what they should know, you must be doing something wrong.  We all know they listen to and absorb everything you say in class.  You make much more sense than I do.

Your students need to participate actively in class.  Try using electric shock or crashing whips next to their desks.  If they don't understand, you are doing something wrong.  You better figure this out and fix it.  If I can get all my students to learn, you should be able to do the same thing.  So what if I can get rid of students that don't work?  I'm the boss and you better not forget this.

Now let's get back to what we talked about at the last meeting--solving equations by transposing.  If you aren't doing this, you are stupid.  I don't care that this method might not help them in college.  I know I tell you that you should teach them to think, but I don't want them to think and I don't want you to think either.  I want everyone to follow what I say blindly, even if you can't figure out what I am saying.  And, if you don't want to do what I say, at least pretend to listen when I am in the room.

You are mostly a bunch of losers and I am stuck being your supervisor.  I may be stupid and incoherent.  I may lack people skills and the ability to recognize good teaching when I see it, but I am in charge and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. 

Have a good day tomorrow and enjoy your weekend.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's exactly how I translated the memo.

I hope this translation makes the rounds at Packemin. Teachers really need someone who sees through the BS.
And they need a reason to smile when they come to work.

Where is Hula in all this???? Is he in hiding??? Where is his leadership????