Monday, August 06, 2007

Dark, Bottomless Hole

Women need to take care of themselves. Janice works like a dog. She is a retired tier one teacher who collects a good pension yet works full time in a private school where her pay is not so great and the kids in her classes have many special needs. The school caters to the wealthy and the parents are quite demanding. She must show up for after school functions. Janice is a morning person, yet this job requires her to work into the early evening. After teaching, Janice tutors privately, going from house to house.

So, why does Janice work so hard? No one else in her family strains themselves. Her spouse works at a low paying job, part time, because it fulfills him (he had a better paying job but it was making him ill). Her children go to expensive colleges and use their money for vacations and Prada bags.

It wouldn't be so bad if Janice spent some of her money on herself. She recently wanted to buy a pretty glass sculpture but didn't buy it because hubby didn't like it (he decided he didn't like it before he saw it.) She did break down and buy herself a pair of pajamas that she fell in love with, but lied to hubby about the price.

It wouldn't be so bad if hubby was thrifty. Hubby likes to drink. Not that he is a big drinker, but he doesn't think twice about buying an expensive beverage when he is out. Hubby also likes to gamble. Now, he is a controlled gambler (stops when he reaches his limit), but he loses more than he wins. Hubby is also getting ready to take a trip to Las Vegas while Janice cannot get the money together to visit her elderly father in another state.

Janice is a friend of mine. I know that all of this is true. No matter how hard I try, I can't get Janice to do things for herself. She needs to start taking care of Janice because no one else is going to do it for her. Women, stand up for yourselves and don't fall into the dark, bottomless hole that Janice is in.


care020 said...

Janice sounds like so many of my married friends. Is this the price that women "must" pay to be married or simply the one that many have resigned themselves to? I listen to how these women claim to have pampered and cared for themselves prior to marriage. (I thought marriage was the joining of two lives into a greater one not the relenquishing of one to enlarge the other.) I know of two women who have not allowed themselves to fall into this situation. One is adored by her husband. She takes loves him, and he worships her. It works. The other excels at being a woman, wife, and mother (in that order) by being true to the person she was prior to marriage. Her husband understands this and loves her more because of it.
I hate to say it, but avoiding the bottomless hole has a lot to do with who we chose to marry. Janice deserves better from her hubby.

Anonymous said...

Janice makes lousy choices. With all due respect, she might consider taking responsibility for them. Life is too short to make such bad choices and then not own up to it.

Pissed Off said...

Janice doesn't see anything wrong with what she does, that is what is so sad.

ms. whatsit said...

I feel bad for Janice. I'd bet that at one time in her life, she was taught by her elders that a man would always take care of her. No doubt there are many other women like Janice out there, which is a sad reflection of our cultural values.

We've had many problems with our Russian immigrant girls who drop out of school as soon as they legally can for the same reason. I worry that their lives will be harder for them than it out to be.