Enjoy Them While You Can

Husband and son, hugging goodbye.

Husband and son packing up the car.

My son is starting his new job in Baltimore tomorrow. He left yesterday. I know its time for him to be an adult, to move on with his life but I miss him already.

These past three years with him living here has been great.

Now, who will fix my computer when it is not working right?

Fair Trade

I wanted to buy my daughter's boyfriend a gift because I really like him and wanted him to know. Since he lives out of town, Amazon was the way to go. My son has a big gift card laying around so I used it, planning to give him the cash later on. But, his car needed an inspection and brakes and mom and dad paid the bill. I hope he doesn't mind trading $50 for $500, but you never know.

(Actually I do know. Even without the car repair he would have readily let me have his gift card. And, that is the reason I don't mind paying for his stuff. I'm blessed. I have two really great kids and one of these kids has a great significant other.)

Remedial Student

When my kids were little I brought them to work with me when their school or day care was closed.

My little second grader was spending an afternoon with me as I was giving an exam to a remedial class. To keep him busy, I told him to do the exam along with the class.

My little boy took the exam very seriously. He sat on the side and worked hard. As he noticed one of my students trying to cheat off of him, he threw his arm over the paper and worked harder.

To this day, we still laugh at the high school kid copying answers from the second grader. Only now, in the era of NCLB, the high school kid who had to copy off the second grader would be graduating high school and heading on to college.

I Preferrred Fish

I didn't wanted a baby. I never (and still don't) ooh and aah when I see one. I have no urge to hold the baby and cuddle it in my arms. My son recently asked me if I would rather spend a day with a baby or an administrator (even Suit). It only took me a while to realize I would prefer the administrator. It was not that difficult a decision to make. (And, everyone reading this blog knows how I love administrators.)

Back in my glory days, most women got married right out of college and had babies almost immediately. My mother swore that by the time I decided to become a mom, my kids would all be deformed. My mother-in-law was no better. Even my husband wanted kids. Luckily, I'm strong and did not succumb to pressure.

After one particularly bad day at work, I decided that enough was enough. I didn't need the crap in school anymore and that now was as good a time as any to have a baby. I know many women have a hard time conceiving, but not me, Fertile Myrtle. I got pregnant that night. Just like I hit the send or publish button without a second thought, I was expecting my first baby and I was scared.

My husband was the only one who knew until I was six months pregnant. (I was very small.) This wasn't an easy thing to hide since I had the worse case of morning sickness ever. (It lasted nine months.)

My daughter's birth sucked big time. My water broke and it was brown instead of clear. The doctor knew something was wrong and she tried to induce. My husband spent what seemed like my entire labor in the bathroom and I threatened him with divorce at the time. They soon discovered the baby was in distress and did an emergency C-section. Thank goodness everything was fine and I have the most perfect daughter in the world. (My husband was thrilled we had a girl because although I never voiced it, I only wanted a girl and he was scared of how I would react to a male child.)

I wasn't exactly Mother Maternal, but I decided to breast feed anyways. It was cheaper and easier than dealing with bottles. Besides, my house was cold in the winter and I dreaded the idea of having to go downstairs to warm bottles in the middle of the night. My mother and mother-in-law were both pushing formula, and being the rebel that I am, breast feeding was the right choice. I decided to do it, but I was not thrilled with the idea. I can tell you now, that was one of the best decisions I ever made. I still tingle at the thought and while I would never offer to babysit or change a diaper, I would breast feed any baby any day of the week, any hour of the day if I had the biological ability to do so.

My beautiful little girl was not easy. She was a mamma's girl, attached to me every waking minute. She had temper tantrums when she did not get her way, but she was mine and I loved her (and still do) more than life itself. I was angry when I got pregnant a second time. This new child was going to be an intrusion on the time spent with my girl. Besides, after the awful first delivery, I had no desire to go through it again.

My son must have known from the start that I would not be easy. He must have also known the unspoken truth--I wanted another girl. He never gave me one minute of trouble during my pregnancy. When I first saw him, I wanted to cry. He was so ugly. He had chicken legs. We thought there was something seriously wrong with him. And then I picked him up and he snuggled into my neck. No words could ever express the love I felt at that moment, or the feeling I still have, almost 27 years later, every time I look at him. He was and always will be my "sunshine." He didn't stay ugly long. By the time he was six weeks old, there was not a baby around that could rival him in the looks department. And, he was so good. It was almost like he knew, a 19 month toddler, like my daughter, needed a lot more attention than a newborn, and he behaved himself.

When we first got married, we had a big fish tank. Growing up in the projects, I was never exposed to cats and dogs and didn't want the responsibility of one as an adult. The fish were my children. They were easy, just throw in some food and walk away. If they died, they were easily replaced. There was no emotional attachment. Years ago, I preferred fish and no one in my family ever lets me forget that.

I am grateful today for my two special, wonderful children. Although I never really wanted to be a mother, now that I am one, I cannot imagine how my life would have turned out without these two children. They are the two (hopefully my daughter and her boyfriend will get married soon so I can have an official three) most special people in my life. No words can ever express the love I feel for them. I know I drive them crazy, and get on their nerves (especially my poor son) and they put up with me.

It is Mother's day. The children I have are is the best gift any mother could ever want. I have been blessed.

Outsmarting The Baby

Not only can I never be teacher of the year, my kids would never have nominated me for mother of the year or even mother of the minute. Little kids were just never my thing.

My daughter was always bright. She could read letters and numbers before she could walk. She knew at a very early age what bedtime at 7:00 PM actually meant.

There were many days when my husband was away on business and the strain of having two children 19 months apart was just too much for me. But, my smart little girl knew what 7:00 was and there was no convincing her otherwise, until I hit on a plan.

When the kids were not looking, I set the clocks ahead one hour. I then stuck a tape of their favorite show, the one that was due to come on at 5:00, in the VCR at 4:00. They then had dinner at 5:00, bath at 5:30 and were tucked away for the night by 6:00 PM.

I got away with this for months until daddy opened his big mouth (He thought I was being cruel.)

My kids are adults now and they still won't let me live this down. The good part of it is that if I ever do become a grandmother, they will not let me have babysitting privileges.

My Two Beautiful Children and Larry

They all got along so well this past weekend.

Even Larry let my daughter hold him.

My Children

I made the error of telling my children about this blog. Now they are regular readers. They even have an alert set up on their computers so they know when I post something new. I now have to be careful what I write. They told me I am a bitch because of some of the things I have written about my friends. Those things are basically true, but they are exaggerations. The people mentioned do not know this blog exists. My sister, knows about this blog, but could never find it. I refused to give her the address. I think I will set up a new blog, tell no one about it and then start writing some nasty stuff about my kids. My daughter has the kind of job that would enable her to find this new blog, so I won't say whether I am going to do it or not. She's probably too lazy to look for it anyways. (sorry daughter, but you know I write the truth about you.) If I do set up a new blog, I better find a way to keep it totally private. I'll keep writing here to throw my two offsprings off.

Actually, I am glad that my son is reading this. When he was in elementary school, he could not read to save his life. He scored 97% in math and 45% in reading. I had a reading tutor for him and tried to work with him all the time. Nothing worked. I never thought he would learn to read. I even had him specially tested. Basically the test showed that he couldn't read because he didn't want to. Hearing that, he started to read, but he only read menus (he liked to eat.) When he learned to read, I never thought he would actually read by choice. Now, he is finishing up his master's degree in Computer and Electrical Engineering, so I know he must read. I'm glad he is reading stuff for pleasure, even if it is just my blog on the internet.