Attention all you lazy, incompetent teachers.
You all take off too often.
You should follow Ms. T's model. She had a baby last night after working a full day. She waited until her classes for the day were over so no one would have to cover for her. She came to work even though she was experiencing contractions all day. You lazy incompetents. You are always taking days off. It is disgraceful. Why can't you be more like her?
Of course, if she really wanted to do the right thing she would have crossed her legs and waited until Friday afternoon to have this baby. Now I will be forced to pay someone to cover her classes. Still, what she did is better than anything any of you have ever done. And, this my friends is the reason I want all of you old time teachers to retire.