Welcome Back Message From An AP

Welcome back losers teachers.  I hope you all had restful productive summers because there is a lot of work ahead of you now.

First I would like to address all the teachers who don't have tenure.  You NEWBIES better listen carefully.  When I say jump, you ask HOW HIGH FATHER?  I will answer once and you must remember and then jump higher every time.  I have the power to give you an Ineffective rating and take away your license.  I will not hesitate to use this power on anyone who displeases me.  I expect 100% passing in all your classes.  Anything less is not satisfactory.  And please don't tell me you are working hard.  If you do your job correctly you won't have to work hard at all.

Second, I would like to address those of you in your late 20's to mid 30's.  A few years ago you were the sweethearts of the department.  I coddled you, made sure you only had good students in your classes and gave you good programs.  I made older, more experienced teachers observe you, not because you were good, but because it humiliated them. Well, guess what?  You guys are no longer the chosen ones.  Look around you and see those straight out of college.  They are the new, good teachers.  You have moved down on the ladder so watch out.  There is a chance I might be coming for you soon.

Lastly we have a few seasoned teachers around.  Those working so many years that they are beginning to stink.  I know you were once considered to be good.  You always had good results and could handle difficult students but like the litter in my cat box, it is time for you to go.  You think I can't do anything to you but I can.  I've already stacked your classes with the most difficult students in the school and have written up all your observations, all of them totally unsatisfactory.  Your union is useless when it comes to stopping me.  I will hound you day and night, make you dread coming to school .  I will make you so sick you will be forced to retire.  I've done it to others and I will do it to you.  You guys in that second group beware.  Most of you will not make it here.

Now don't try to go against me.  Even the Principal has my back on this issue.

Now that we got all the ugly business out of the way, let's all get busy and have a productive year.  After all, we all want what is best for our students.

(Picture is a real cocktail bar at a street fair in Brussel's Belgium taken this summer-change duck to teacher and you can get this AP's message.)