I remember holding my daughter for the first time and worrying about how I could possibly care for this little person who was totally dependent on me for everything. I remember rushing her to the doctor two days after we brought her home because she was crying and I did not know what was wrong. She could not express her needs, but, she was small and I could easily get medical help for anything bothering her. Thankfully at that time there was nothing wrong with her and my breast in her mouth usually soothed the beast in her.
Now I am responsible for the well being of an 89 year old. All of a sudden he can no longer express his needs or communicate what he needs and wants. Like the baby who cries, he is frustrated and angry. He refuses to leave the house and an ambulance to an emergency room is not an option. I know he will never survive a hospital stay. I am in the process of setting up a home hospice, but it is hard. God bless his wonderful caretakers Effie and Nat. I do not know what I would do without them. I can't soothe him and I can't take his pain away. I hope somewhere deep within, he still knows how much I love him and pray for him to find peace.