Brother-In-Law Update 2

I just had a wonderful phone call with my brother-in-law. He is, ON THE MEND!!!!! This is the happiest I have been in a while. He swears he is giving up smoking for good and is really ready to amend his ways. I hope he does.

The one good thing out of all of this is that I now realize how much I love my sister. I am actually now looking forward to her moving back to NY, and not just because she will be good for my dad.

Brother-In Law Update

The days before my mom's surgery, the surgery she never woke up from, she was delirious. She hallucinated. She thought everyone was out to get her. She said mean things to everyone around. This is what my brother-in-law is doing now. He got off the ventilator on Sunday. We thought that was a good sign. The doctors said he would be disoriented for a day or two, but that should pass. It is not passing. Now they are saying he might have brain damage.

My sister was at the hospital non stop during my mom's last conscious hours. She always thought my mom would get better. I knew she wouldn't. Now, as she watches her husband going through the same thing, she has no hope. She fears he will never be well. I try to bolster her, but I am too far away. She is alone, maybe there are a few friends around, but no family.

I used to love my brother-in-law. I'm just angry with him now. He did this to himself. He smoked when he knew his health was at risk. He smoked when he spit up blood. He never had a job that provided health coverage so we don't know if what he has now could have been prevented. I hate him for what he is doing to my sister.

I saw a good friend at work go outside to light up today. I laced into him. I told him that he doesn't really love his wife or he wouldn't be risking his health this way. He wouldn't risk putting her through what my sister is going through. He said he is going to stop, but I have heard him say that too many times before to take him seriously. Smoking is an addiction and a disease. I know he can't help himself, as my brother-in-law could not help himself. I feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do to make her pain go away.

Butt Head

I hate smokers. They not only kill themselves, they kill the people that love them.

My brother-in-law is one of those smokers. He is 53 years old, lying in an ICU, hooked up to a ventilator, fighting for his life. He has been smoking for years. He has had severe bronchitis for years. He has had major incidents of coughing up blood. He refused to quit. The doctors just found a mass on his lungs. They do not know if it is cancerous because they cannot operate while he is in such a weakened condition.

I love my brother-in-law but I hate him for what he is putting my sister through. When he refused to give up smoking, he not only chose to give himself a deadly illness, he chose to destroy his wife, the love of his life. she Shas not slept or had a happy moment in 10 days. He chose to possibly deprive his newborn grandson of knowing the love of wonderful grandfather.

My mother-in-law smoked herself to death. She smoked from the time she was nine years old until she died, at age 83. She died due to complications of surgery, a surgery necessitated by her smoking. Her smoking did not allow blood to circulate fully through her body and as a result, some of her toes had to be amputated. Because of the smoking, her body could not take the anesthesia and this is what killed her.

When my mother-in-law started to smoke, no one knew how deadly cigarettes were. By the time the truth was known, she was too addicted to stop. Her life was hard and cigarettes were one of her few pleasures. My brother-in-law is different. The dangers of what he has been doing have been known for years. He should have been smart enough to stop. He should have been strong enough to stop. I don't think he ever tried to stop. I don't think he thought it was important to stop.

I pray every day that he will get well. I pray that he will get well and find the courage to give up this thing that has him fighting for his life. I pray that others that smoke can find the strength to stop.