Below is a paraphrase of an actual letter sent to a friend of mine. This student attends a very expensive four year college.
Dear Professor:
I am writing to you today to let you know I will not be taking the final exam tomorrow. As you know, I haven't been in class more than three times this semester, but this has not been my fault. You requested medical documentation and I gave my doctor permission to talk to you. Please call him at 516 -XXX-XXXX. I would have been ready for the final if you e-mailed me the chapters I had to study. As for the homework I owe you, they have been scanned and are attached. I know they were due the last day of class, but that is too bad. There are only 12 attached so it should not be a problem for you to download them and then mark them all.
Let me know when I can take this exam and what I should study. I don't know what I did with the syllabus you handed out and since I haven't been in class, I don't know what has been covered. Please don't schedule it before 10:00 AM or after 2:00 PM. Also, Mondays and Fridays are not good days for me.(Pictured above it the Yeti from Sak's holiday window.)
Thank you. I plan on applying to medical school and really need an A in this class. My dean will be speaking to you.
Sincerely yours,
Biggest Loser in College Today