Memo_091



Administrators are allowed to make mistakes.  The memo that should have come out Friday, came out today. But, the e-mail began with an "I an sorry" so I guess that makes it okay.

Memo_091 is a list of demands and things that all teachers must do.  Many are common sense and the wording in the memo is demeaning. I do understand that some people never follow directions, but, there has got to be a better way to get a point across.

Here is the memo.  My commentaries are in red.  Not one of the funnier memos, but it still gives a giggle in several places.

September 12, 2012

Please make sure you give out Rules and Regulations in all your classes, particularly to the new students. 

All MEF81 teachers should finishing teach lessons 1 – 31 in the AMAPS curriculum by January 2013.  Please take your time and prepare students to learn and to learn the arithmetic first.  [To learn arithmetic?  Teachers will do in a semester what others haven't done in 8 previous years of education. ] They must come to class everyday with their 3-ring binder.  [Where is the advice on how to get kids to do this?]  They must learn to come on time and sit in their assigned seats everyday or regularly, etc. [Once a month, on a Tuesday is regular.  is this regular enough?]  Clearly, you have to slow down and not teach a lesson a day! 

 There is a grade-leader assigned to each course.  Please make sure you check with him/her on the pacing. 

All teachers must follow the AMAPS curricula if one is available.  Please speak to me if you have trouble locating it online.  There should be curriculum for Integrated Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry and Pre-Calculus.  If you are teaching Pre-Calculus honors and regular, please make sure you proceed at the same pace and cover the same materials.  All students in Pre-Calculus should take the same final exam.  After all, we are putting some students form Pre-Calculus regular into AP Calculus.

 

Please check the Delinquent Book list before you give out textbooks. We must check and make sure we retrieve all the textbooks first.  I have emailed a copy to you.  Please verify that all your students have returned their textbook before you issue another to him/her.  Please do not issue another textbook to such students and ask them to make sure return their textbooks.  It is easier for you, but one of your colleagues might need the textbook the student already has at home.  You may issue textbooks to freshmen starting from Monday.  But do not give a textbook to a sophomore in the same class.[This will be fun, books to freshman only.]   Everyone else can issue textbooks once you check the delinquent book list.

 

If you have students arriving late to your class, please take some time to explain to them how to get to your class on time.  Most of the new students do not know how to get to your classroom quickly from where they are.  Please communicate with their parents about the lateness and log your phone calls.  Please make sure you tell the parents that they will have to come in if you call them about the same issue. [You teachers have nothing else to do but call and meet with parents and so what if they have jobs and need to pay rent?]

Students are complaining about certain teachers already.  Please make sure you teach every lesson by ASKSING [spelling]  QUESTIONS.  Long monologue is hard for student to take. [grammar] Please do not threaten your students with failure, either.  We must find ways to engage every student and reminding them what to do when solving a math problem is not the most effective way to get every student involved. [What does he suggest?]   For those of you who enjoy monologues, the question you should ask every other minute is:  [Don't think the kids will learn from this question.] “Am I teaching through questions?”  And I hope the answer is yes.

 There should be a mailbox for each teacher – please check it regularly.  Unless you have 30 years in the system, please take only one mailbox.  [The royal treatment given to senior teachers has left the department devoid of senior teachers.] 

 

Thank you and have a wonderful weekend.

Memo_015 In Its Entirety



There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call The Twilight Zone.

—Rod Serling

Entering the Twilight Zone of Packemin H.S. Math Department

For the students who only showed up for one part of the final exam, please prorate the part of the final they took and calculate the average if you wish to pass them, but leave the exam field blank. But if a student gets 38 out of 40 on Part II and their average is below 90, I would not count the final at all.

Nice, huh?  You can count the good grade for a 90 student but not for a student who hasn't done so well in the past and now has studied like a dog to make the grade.

 No student who failed the final exam in my class had a passing average because the grade we give is a performance indicator. 

Wow, isn't he wonderful.  I don't even know why he bothers to make his students take the final since he has magic powers to know who is passing before hand.

In some extreme cases, the only exam a student was able to pass was the final exam.

This is what happens when the same exam is given all day long--kids get the questions and answers in advance.  And, what message does it send the kid who studied his behind off and still fails the class?

 If a student’s average is in the low 60’s and the student has passed some exams during the term, s/he can be given a grade of 65 provided their final exam grade is at least 65. For students with a passing average who failed the final exam with grades higher than 57, you can give a grade of 65.  For students whose final grades are below 57, a grade of 55 should be given.

A child who scored a 57 is so much more prepared and knows so much more than the one who scored a 55 or a 56.  That 57 is such a meaningful number.

If a student is absent more than 15 times and you wish to issue a passing grade, please make sure you speak to me first. Such students certainly did not participate in class while they were out. The question you should ask yourself is –“if a student is absent so many times and the student is doing ‘satisfactory’ work, what have I taught in that class?”

There are kids that can pass, even when out.  We have all seen it. 

You have to decide on the 55 or 65 based on how much harder they will work when they see the grade. After all, you know your students.

Some teachers might actually have brains. Besides,  grades should be uniform and not based on what you think your students will do.

Once again, I would like to thank all the grade leaders for the work they did on the uniform exams. There are some issues with a few exams - not indicating clearly our expectations on how to solve a problem, easy problems and errors on the exams. Directions should always include “show all work whenever possible to receive credits.” I will check next time.

I can't believe Mr. Micro Manager actually missed something. 


And printed in its entirety so anyone wishing can view this memo without commentary:

January 23, 2012


I would like to wish everyone a happy lunar New Year to those who celebrate.


Once again, I would like to thank all the grade leaders for the work they did on the uniform exams. There are some issues with a few exams - not indicating clearly our expectations on how to solve a problem, easy problems and errors on the exams. Directions should always include “show all work whenever possible to receive credits.” I will check next time.


I would like to remind everyone of the following when giving grades for this marking period in the required courses (for graduation). If you are teaching an elective, please speak to me directly if you have any issues.





Thank you very much.


Memo_015

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

1.  Every class should have 100% attendance daily.  It is the teacher's responsibility to call parents and make this happen.
2.  Every child should have a hand up for every question.  The right hand should be raised if they know the answer and the left one if they don't.
3.  If a paper drops, everyone should be able to hear the paper hit the floor.

Above is a partial list of demands being put on the members of my old department.  Don't laugh.  People's jobs might very well depend on being able to fulfill those impossible requirements.  It was so much easier when I began my career.  Sure I worried about the kids with the guns, but I knew if they went off, everyone would hear them, even if the class was noisy.